How Not To Travel – Advice for the Clueless

I have done a bit of traveling lately and am planning a trip to Rome in a moth or two.  While skimming travel article online I have run into some very alarming advice from travel bloggers.  The sarcastic list of advice that I am offering below is intended as a response to articles with titles such as “How to Make Traveling in Coach feel like a Spa” or “How to Survive a Long Haul Flight in Comfort.”  

They make suggestions that impinge on the space and comfort of other people. 

TSA screening: While waiting in line, or hey, even before getting in line, how about taking off your watch, emptying your pockets, untying your shoes, removing your jacket and taking out your laptop?  The line would probably go much faster if people paid attention to details like this either while standing in line and doing nothing instead of at the moment they are faced with the bins and next to go through the scanner. 

Bring headphones:  No one, really – no one, wants to hear the incessant pinging of your video game or the other annoying sounds emitting from your phone.  I think there should be a special circle of hell for those narcissists who pollute the air with unnecessary and rude sound from their devices.  This rule does not apply if you are traveling with children – you must be able to hear and monitor your children’s behavior and that cannot be done with headphones or earbuds in.

Keep your stink shoes on your feet:  In several blog posts, I have read advice for people to take off their shoes during a flight – yeah – and not to worry about the smell because it does not last long. How gross is that?  If you want to travel with no shoes, take them off in the terminal and put on clean socks with slippers and put those shoes in your carry on bag.  

Not a spa:  An airplane is the equivalent of a bus in the sky. It is not a spa.  Spa activities are inappropriate on a crowded plane. Keep your essential oils, masks, and fruity lotions to yourself. 

Keep your pants on:  I was astounded to see that a person, a male, took off his trousers and expected to be able to fly on a red-eye in his boxer shorts.  A plane is a public place and all passengers expect public behavior from fellow fliers. Geez!

Thanks for reading my rant!

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